Comments on: Your Youth Group Stinks! Building Rapport with Difficult Students

By: Chris Schaffner

Chris Schaffner — Wed, 26 Mar 2014 20:30:56 +0000

Vanessa – I’ve had to pull the plank out of my own eye many times before I earned the right to point out the speck in a student’s eye. Good thoughts.

By: Chris Schaffner

Chris Schaffner — Wed, 26 Mar 2014 20:28:52 +0000

In reply to Christian.

Christian – I remember hearing Chap Clark say one time that often when we attempt to reach kids we expect them to change (go from 1 – 10) over night. In reality students (and people) rarely change like that, it’s more like (1-2-3-4-5-etc.) progressive. Too many people, myself included, have had unrealistic expectations for students and have tried to “force” a change resulting in pushing student farther away. I’ve tried to move away from a position of power and authority to a position of influence.

By: Vanessa

Vanessa — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 17:32:06 +0000

Oh wow, those comments from the youth bring me back to that age. I was flooded with angst just reading them. The one that struck me the most was from 17yr old Angela. As an adult, I am all too aware of controlling tendencies that I have developed so when I hear someone describing an upsetting situation I check myself before offerring unsolicited advice. It’s hard for me to switch gears when talking with youth because I’m so used to interacting with people who are between the ages of 21 and 40 (granted just because someone is an age that suggests maturity beyond high school doesn’t always add up). I find it difficult to balance giving guidance while making sure teens feel heard but I think the key is sharing my experience (sometimes filtered) of feelings and how I handled the situation. With teens I think it is super important that I do not tell them they should do this or it just needs to be a certain way. Normalizing their experiences and showing them its okay to have and express difficult feelings is so huge for them.

I am experiencing a rather rowdy young lady in my churches youth ministry. I am humbled by her reminder of who I used to be when I was a teen and I look forward to encouraging and watching her grow.

By: Christian

Christian — Mon, 24 Mar 2014 18:39:06 +0000

Those are some interesting comments from teens that make me want to rethink a little about how I interact with teens.

We need to be quick to love – instead of judge – kids who present with issues or resistance. That doesn’t mean we pretend sin is okay. And there may be emergencies that need immediate attention. And the Holy Spirit may prompt. Or they may bring it up. But it may be good in many cases to give some time to build a caring relationship and trust before we speak directly to them about many of their behaviors.