I remember telling my mom that I was nervous about raising “pastor’s kids” because I had seen a fair amount who had not made healthy life choices. I clearly remember her saying, “Erik, you will raise them the same whether you’re a youth pastor or a plumber.” As I thought about that, I realized it was true. It was significant to me. I didn’t have to raise my kids as “pastors kids.” (Whatever that looks like.) I would raise them the way I would raise them—period.
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Be An Adult Who Makes A Difference In The Life Of A Kid.
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I now have a daughter entering 8th grade, and a son entering 6th grade. For so many years I had parents tell me, “You’ll understand some day…when you have kids of your own.” I wanted to tell them that I understood then, but now… NOW I have two middle schoolers and I UNDERSTAND! I’m more concerned about how many “real” adults are going on the retreat vs. high school leaders. I’m thinking about the safety of our van drivers. I’m very interested in knowing that my kids’ small group leaders know the Bible and are theologically sound. Not that those things weren’t on my radar before kids, but it sure has amped up to a whole new level. It even changes how I think through certain messages, including my purity talks. And if I don’t do it right with these two, I have a 21-month-old and a 22-month-old, I can do better with on round two! (I’m just kidding people…sort of.)
I never realized how much the different phases of kids in ministry would change my life and the way I do ministry. I literally just got off the phone with a former student who remembers how upset he and his buddies were when they heard my wife and I were going to have our first child. I said, “Why?” “Because we thought you wouldn’t be able to hang out with us anymore.” Haha! We still hung out; they just got to know my family better. His wife is pregnant now and he is wondering how much will change.
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Be An Adult Who Makes A Difference In The Life Of A Kid.
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A few thoughts:
1) Kids don’t mean ministry is over; it just means it may look a little different.
2) Take advantage of the perks! (My kids love coming to camps and getting on stage and getting a free t-shirt.)
3) When planning something, try to think through the lens of a parent.